Break Free…

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Rain and ice here today and down right chilly. Where oh where is spring? I stayed hunkered down beneath the covers in bed late this morning until my stomach began demanding food. It was so warm and cozy underneath I didn’t want to crawl out. I was thinking as I sat there about how I would like to live out the last quarter of my life. Simply I decided. To live in my small house with my devoted cat and the wonders of mother nature and her creatures all around me. To live my days not by a calendar or clock but by the seasons and the moon and the sun.  It seems like such a simple desire and yet I cannot do it because of humanities lack of insight early on when it chose to become caught up in the money game.

As I wrote that first paragraph I could feel other people already putting their stamp of judgment upon me, not maliciously, but because it is what they have been taught to believe. Why do any of us judge another’s life, where or why did we turn that corner in life that said ‘go ahead and judge, it’s okay, it makes you feel better.’  To many the simple life I desire could be considered less than, not evolved,  a waste of possibilities, dull and uneventful. We can think such things because they have been bred into us over generations, we were made to believe that what we do in life defines who we are. Are we a Dr. or a Lawyer or an Indian Chief? Such titles and degrees define us, to not have one makes someone less than, uneducated, lower class, less worthy. And yet…

I was well-educated at private schools, my mind is sharp, I communicate well with those around me, I am a far-reaching, big picture thinker and yet I don’t have a career that defines who I am nor do I desire one. Shame on me! Are we not made to believe if we don’t desire the climb up the ladder we lack inspiration, a desire for growth, we have nothing to offer the world? I could be accused of not engaging with life, wasting precious time dripping through the hour-glass, I am not accomplishing anything in the eyes of many. Just whose standards am I being measured by in the first place? Who made up these rules of life we live under? Did we all choose to live under these rules freely or have our ideas about the way things should be been bred into us over generations  of time unquestioned? Therein lies the problem.

Early on in societies development a certain group of  wealthy people with a particular mindset saw an opportunity for wealthy gain and control of the people. We used to be simple hunter/gathers, we didn’t have money, just survival skills, a sharp mind and resourcefulness. We survived back then but could not survive easily now without the security of money. This is when life became an experiment about control. Beliefs were implanted into our unsuspecting minds that subtly began to siphon away our freedom. Today we are so entrenched in this money trap it seems impossible to escape. We have unconsciously created a system to live by that has given over total power and control to strips of green paper and round, shiny, metal coins, locking us into our cages.

This monetary system of living not only ensnares us, but many do not even realize they have been trapped.  They buy into the money game and their lives instantly become a quest for more and more and soon new problems unfold. As our money game begins to take root, judgment is injected into our thoughts and the haves and have-nots were born followed soon after by ego and its swagger of jealousy, greed and self-importance, which began to reconfigure our beliefs. Life was no longer about simple living and survival skills, now it’s focus had become fixated on green strips of paper and round, shiny, metal coins. It dominates our focus and dominates our way of living and entraps us in our self-made cages, stealing our freedom to live how we wish to live and be who we wish to be, if we don’t have money!

We have become slaves to ourselves, to a way of life we have been made to believe we want and that we never question! Blindly and devotedly we struggle to acquire money, yet we do not fully understand for what purpose. Sadly the more money we have the more we want. The Gerbil wheels within our cages spin continuously 24/7 in our exhausting pursuit for more, all the while simplicity and real life passes by outside our barred windows just out of reach.

And so I long to live quietly with my cat and nature, yet I cannot do such a simple thing without money to pay the bills and put food on the table. I came to earth and once here was made to live an acceptable life by someone else’s standards by accepting their beliefs and becoming ensnared in the money trap. Now with my life 3/4 over it is hard to break free without money. The circle is complete. I often feel like I was born at the wrong time as these standards of living are not mine! They hinder my freedom to be who I wish to be and live how I wish to live.  Nothing should EVER have the power to restrict someone eles’s life dreams. It’s a tough quandary to find oneself in. It is what I am working my way through right now, trying to figure out how to live out the last quarter of my life the way I want to without money. The ultimate challenge for sure.

Blessings to all,



8 thoughts on “Break Free…

  1. VK, I know it takes a while but work towards the place where you don’t give a fig about what other people think about you. It is SO freeing! I know and understand this miserable weather doesn’t help your frame of mind much. Money did not ever mean the end all to me yet when I was working as an RN my identity became that and I was so proud of how much money I made. When that was taken away with a very serious back injury I began a journey of finding ME. I live a very odd life to most people and you know what? I don’t care! As for staying in bed all nice and warm and comfy … I did the exact thing this morning. OH my bed just felt too good to get out of it. I relished those moments of just laying there enjoying the warmth and comfort that bed gave me. Hang in there with this crazy weather … SO many places in this world are getting hit with bad weather!! BIG (((HUGS)))!!! 💝💝💝

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey there AR…..I really don’t really care at all, I was more pointing out how we do judge not to be mean but it’s all we’ve ever known. It’s too bad really but slowly I think people are starting to come around to sanity again. Look at Calif and the reversal people are demanding on the sanctuary cities. The mind set is shifting ever so slowly but we will get there 🙂 As for bed, I enjoyed every hour I sat there reading a great book as the snow and rain poured down outside. It was more fun….One of the biggest lessons/messages I discovered in this quest to go within this past year was finally believing that my life was my life and I could do whatever I wanted and screw what anybody else thought. That was their life and this was mine….Leave it alone! Finally got that through my head. Whew! Happy day to you. Hopefully the weather pattern will shift and spring will arrive at long last. Much love….VK ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sorry about misunderstanding, VK. I also think people are slowly coming around. I’m seeing it. The weather WILL change and we both can put this cold and wet and misery behind us! YAY! 😻


    • No need to be sorry about anything….So much of our bad behaviors are developed from watching the tv and soaking up all of the demoralizing crap they constantly pump into people’s heads. Makes me so mad. Makes me wish more people could see what is happening to them…It’s so subtle people don’t even realize they are changing…Praying for transparency! Woke up to snow all over this morning too….Praying for spring as well…It’s coming!!! VK ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • So good to see you again Kate! I hope all is well and life is being good to you. I will try to stay warm. A storm pushing through with very high winds and ice. Crazy….As for judgment from others, I’ve stopped caring. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to that. I’m working on it 🙂 Much love to you..VK ❤


  2. We have to do what we can within our restrictions, VK. The money game isn’t a fun one but we’re all locked into it. Our Spring has now arrived – it has been incredibly warm over the past two days, although it has rained today. The leaves on the trees are starting to appear which is a bonus. I hope Spring reaches you also early this week. Have a good week, VK.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey TL,
      Spring is still a ways off I imagine. Frozen rain on everything today and it’s still cold. I’m hoping in another week things will begin to thaw out and begin to turn green. Winter can’t go on forever, can it? You have a good week as well. If I find the way out of the money game without any money I’ll let you know 🙂 VK

      Liked by 1 person

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